Okay, okay, so I know that my blog posts are always very lighthearted updates on my precious baby. No politics, philosophy or religion, etc...But, I thought I'd throw in a deep one for once.
One of my friends at work has a cute little box of cards that are "conversation starters." Today a few of us were sitting around answering the questions and having a good time, and then a rather serious, thought-provoking topic was broached. "Your most spiritual experience" or something to that effect. The first things that came to mind were my most thankful moments, but later I got to thinking more about it and my most "thankful" moments weren't necessarily what I would consider "spiritual" moments. I mean those don't happen every day...So I've thought all night about my truly most "spiritual" moment and I really can think of only a very few, one of which really stands out in my mind and I thought I'd share.
In September of 2007, I had a miscarriage. It was a difficult time in my life and the Sunday following, we were at Church in our usual spots singing the same 'ole songs...and honestly, I really wasn't overly thrilled to be there. I think James made me go. And then, we sang a particular song. A song that I've always been especially fond of, but this day it suddenly took on a new meaning and I was so moved as I listened to the lyrics and worshiped, that I was powerfully and most definitely "moved" by the spirit and I knew that the Lord was with me at that exact moment and was holding me together and keeping my heart from breaking. It was at that moment that I knew that things were going to be okay...that I was going to be okay. The song is "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman. Here are some of the lyrics:
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be
'Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your Name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
I realized something that morning. Something that I'd said my whole life, but never really believed until that moment. Good things and bad things happen in this life, but no matter what happens, the Lord is good and he is there t0 hold us together. We are still "blessed" no matter what our circumstances are...good, bad or ugly.
Now, more than a year later, I have a precious baby boy that I am so thankful for. And while the loss was difficult for us at the time, it's comforting to know that if my first pregnancy had gone as we had hoped, then we wouldn't have Case, and I can't imagine life without him. He is our greatest blessing, and so darn cute, don't you think?
Okay, okay, so enough of the "deep" stuff. I promise the next blog post to be back to lighthearted stories and pics of my boy!
6 comments:
that is one of my favorites too, though there are some days i can't sing it. it does change my heart to know what it really means to love God and trust Him through EVERY day. thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing! It's amazing how God can work through songs and change how we have always viewed them.
Ann, this was a beautiful post, thanks for sharing. I look up to you girls around here because of your faith. Just look what it gets you through and helps you overcome.
Oh, I agree that this song is very moving. I almost come to tears each time we sing it. You are so right, God gives so much to us, but he also takes away. And while we don't understand, there always seems to be some type of blessing ahead. The hardest part is trusting. Good post, Anne. Thanks for sharing.
Ann, thanks for sharing your heart--I love the light-hearted Case posts for sure, but this one has really touched me. Great thoughts.
tears are rolling down my face as I am typing this. That was really awesome and I am so glad that you posted this. Who knows how many people this will touch at just the moment they are needing it.
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